Every Me and Every You

Past months weren’t on my side
Hard times adjusting to the new phase
Time didn’t give chance
It wasn’t fair

Another level for me to go through
Different scene, environment and people
Totally needed me to change
But the inner part refused to

Finally accepted the fate
But the more I try to accept it
The closer you came
Making it more complicated

The game you played
Left me puzzled
The vission was blurry
Wasn’t sure of what you wanted

Tonight I'll lay my head
Anticipate into the mystery
Hoping it’ll be solve
Lift the hands and pray...

Bury The Hatchet

17 years back, remembered the naïve me went to daddy’s wedding without mom. It was rather weird for me, the faces I know are just those from my dad’s side. I recognized the aliens, but I rather being ignorant that time. In fact, it went till these few years back. I refused to accept them although their being so nice to me. Fairy tales and books read when i was a child, especially about Cinderella, had blocked my mind about having a step mother. All step mothers being portrayed as those ugly looking and mean people that I never want to accept her.

Dad married step mom after 2 years of divorced with mom. Now with 4 sons and me still being daddy’s only princess. :D

I always thought that she'll take away daddy’s attention from me. During the teenage time, I was giving in a little bit, but was obviously pretending. I always dreamt about a perfect life with dad, mom and me. I don’t mind having siblings though. Being daddy’s princess, I wanted daddy to be at my house with mom happily. That’s the main reason why I hated my step mom since small. She tarnished my idea of having a happy family. Nonetheless, I am thankful to god that daddy never neglected me after remarries. Love, attention and money were the never the issues, unlike some other friends who came from a broken family.

As time goes by, with me getting more matured and able to accept aliens in the life, for once, I put aside the hatred. I felt much relieved in me though. Step mom did nothing wrong to me, it was just me unable to accept the facts of life.

But what made me finally letting myself to accept her?

I don’t have the answer, but the stubborn me let her in…..

Shock Shock Me

After realizing that something needed to be done on my Strategic Management assessment mark, i did work very hard for VIVA - The Hour Glass report. The results were out today and i did very well. Che Ah gave back the report with a big smile. Guess what, 10/10 and means that 5% more added to my assessment! Hoooray. Well Che Ah, your critics motivated me to wake up and shine again. Thank you. Another 5% yet to get depending on VIVA presentation this Friday. *wishing and hoping* :D

Did the back up question for Giordano's case, and i think i did pretty well. Praying that it could help upgrade my Giordano's mark.

Somebody wanted to suprise me yesterday night. It was shweet of you beautiful stranger! Nice meeting you. And ouh, i cant wait for ur "kalau ni 3, kalau ini 4..kalau ini berapa?" session. Btw, nice try dA!

Ive got mail, by Assoc. Prof Che Ah,
My Dear Students

I know that you are feeling very depressed over the marks & my remarks but please understand that we need to face our weaknesses & react to it immediately. I care for you & that is why this wake up call is something we must address to immediately!

Crisis Management in action!

So we will now concentrate strictly on past years’ questions, be prepared to ask me any questions the more questions that you ask the better! See you & you do not have to FEAR facing me! No FEAR FACTOR!

Love You!
Che Ah

My strategic management lecturer is just like any other lecturer that student would wish for. She's so caring, will always make her class so lively with her spur of the moments actions, trying her best to make her student enjoy the class and the one that will reward you with anything that she could afford for when we achieved up to her expectations.

Nonetheless, I got disappointed last 2 weeks, when i got C+ for this paper during mid term exam. The comments were harsh, yeah i know its good for me coz you said im being the normal-accounting-student who tend to memorize things, which doesnt work to answer this critical thinking and analyzing paper. God, i understand what you taught me Che Ah, but im mad with my self for being that typical accounting student. Hence the bad result. But since then, i not motivated to go for classes. Dont ask, but it seems im giving up. Plus the Giordano case study wasnt up to your expectation, out of 9 groups only 1 pass. I was devastated, much effort was put on it. Still....

I think ive got to wake up. Its 3 weeks more before the semester ends. Im trying not to skip classes anymore especialy ATP *sigh*. Insyallah, but this reminds me of the tonnes of projects, presentation and assignments which all due by the first week of October. Ouh i so cant wait for this FINAL semester to ends.

Ouh Merciful ALLAH, give me all the strength that i need....

Happy Fasting to all Muslims

Just got back from Tarawikh prayers. Its the 3rd year doing it at Bukit Jelutong's mosque. Whoaa its been 3 years then since i moved to BJ. Humph..time fly so fast eh? Ouh saw the new west wing for the Muslimah to perform Tarawikh. Still prefer the top part with aircond. *sigh*
As usual, meet all the uncles and cousins. Chit chat..yada yada. No food was served, perhaps because its not the fasting day yet. And ouh, i did not actually finish 'repaying' the days which i did not fast last year. Grrr..pay fidyah..yes yes!

Since today was the last day to eat during day time, the fuglies (me, Ella and Alia) together the fuglers (Adi and Aziz) had lunch at Subang Ria. Adi's college friends tag along too. Practically all of us had the nyummilicious char kueh teow. Ouh, the char kueh teow is moving next month at the last shop of the same existing row. To be exact, the shop which sells Nasi Lemak Cikgu. I wonder why...I like all the food combination at Subang Ria. From the dumplings, curry mee, fried mamak mee, yong tau foo, tahu bakar...grrrr gonna miss them. Anyhow, these are the photos taken after our 'melantak makanan' session.

I just realized that my streamyx is currently having problem. It seems impossible to upload. Haih, people normally got problem with downloading, but mine is the opposite case. Heh. Talked to the technician and they cant seems to solved it after on the phone with them for more than 2 hours helping me to solve it. But after all the effort and troubleshooting, my uploading was still super slow. According to the speedometer, my uploading was only at 55p/kbs!!! Slow as hell...aih. Boo to the rest technician whom i called earlier and kept saying there a conflict in my line. If so, fix it lah. But, they kept saying they dont have authority to do so. WTF??!!


The guy whom was very patient with me, thank you very much!! He did reset my connection and did all the possible thing to help me. So kind of him. He lodged a report for me and promised to fix my problem within 2 working days.
So, just 10 mins ago, a TM technician called, was wondering am i at home or not, coz he want to come and fix it from my house. Yeay. Hoping that it'll be fix, and i can post pictures again in this blog! as you can see, ived posted pictures already!!! my connection is fixed! and im a happy kiddo!



Btw, dinner with Aziz, Afiq(ode), Adi, Ella and myself last night was very fun! Its been awhile since the last time i met Aziz and Afiq. Ouh, Aziz came back from Sabah for some courses and he looked bit chubbier. Hhehe happy at Sabah perhaps. Aziz treated us dinner at Dave's Deli. Exchanged stories, from Ella & Nyet's to Afiq & Agnes's. Humph, both stories were quite similar. But nway, both of them felt relieved after telling us the what had actually happened. Ouh, lotsa secrets revealed! Thrilling!

After that, we moved to Swensens. Ice cream yeay! This time was Aziz's turn to be the story teller bout his ex. He explain why he did this and that. We understand you Aziz. Besides, i think my 3 friends are great people, whom their spouses just dont treat them well. Guys, i believe in karma, what goes around, comes around. :D
We laugh, laugh and laugh. So much fun for us and Ella. Everybody had fun, so much fun! Waiting for somewhere end of the month, Afiq promised to treat us for breaking fast! Yeahoooooo

Dewa - Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

Hadapi dengan senyuman
Semua yang terjadi
Biar terjadi
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua, kan baik baik saja

Bila ketetepan tuhan
Sudah ditetapkan
Tetaplah sudah
Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah

Relakanlah saja ini
Bahawa semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang

Indeed, i lost in the court session today. Cheh...acting like real lah. Anyway, i was ordered to attend to UiTM Court for Tindakan Tatatertib for not attending this Propect Course sumwhere in July. So anyway, i admitted at fault and was fined RM200. No way........ yeah after pleading, it was reduced to RM50 to be paid withing 14 days. Haih, i rather spent the money for ice creamssssssSSssSsss

Woke up early today for Accountancy Fac's Sports Day. Ouh yeah, i played for the batch. We all had fun although we didnt make it for the finals. The field was rather full with puddle of mud. I was a bit disgusted to go on bear foot, but since i love my sneakers more, what the heck! hey hey, it feels cool ok? hahaha yuckie~

Its been awhile since i played netball. The last time, was when i was representing UiTM during my diploma time. It was ok. Love being under the sun..suddenly! Dont ask me why, but i was excited! Since we didnt make it for the finals, headed home by 2pm. Bumped into Huda Mansor on the way home. She was, as usual very enchanting.

Confirmed with Zai for Body Jam and Body Combat release at Axis. Love the new moves for Jam, very groovy! Body Combat 33's moves were super cool. A bit of combination from the previous Jam's step. Hence, the confusion of me during the Fatman Scoop song. Both new releases made me exhausted, really! But overall, i enjoyed the day. Calvin (the Combat instructor) sang a farewell song for Shu. Its the last Combat class for her as she's leaving for the Big Apple. So sad...gonna miss those crazy times with you! And ouh, Zai and i cant wait for her to settle down, we wanna come!!!

I am indeed, Miss Healthy working on her fitness today! Happiness!

ella, me , alia having fun with our ABC


alia and me


The weather today felt me, it rains. Just like my heart...

Im badly affected to what recently happened to two members of the fuglies. Two different stories that are equally interesting, that if i am a film producer, i would want to make their stories into a movie. *sigh*

From what i observe, the power of love has a great magical effect in one's life. It could turn one so blind in judging their spouses. It could take over one mind's logicalness and ability to think. No matter how bad their spouses treated them, they will stand by their spouses and try to make it look good at other's eyes. They will let themselves being abused emotionally and physically. Why ouh why????

Ive experienced love too. But i would not let my self being hurt over and over again. I couldnt bare actually seeing own friends not being treated as what they deserved to be. They're nice people, whom gave their spouses millions of chances, but end up being hurt again. Dear my sayangs, i know u love ur bfs so much. But how many times do you have to give them chances? Maybe a good lesson would do. Chances aint gonna change anything. Too much of it, that they took them for granted. It hurts me to see you people cries. I just want all of us to be happy. Having arguments are norms, but yours are............you know what im talking about.

Anyhow,
I LOVE YOU fuGly-na AND fuGly-La!!! May ALLAH bless you with a happier life in future! No matter what, im always here to listen, although sometimes i wish to listen to more happier ones. Lots of ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

events of the past few weeks

Picture above taken with 4 fuglies, some masscomm students and Xfresh fm crew Shaq(yellow groovy dude)

So yeah, the fuglies made it to 'Shelter Me' UiTM-SPCA program. It was fun. We all had fun. I watch helplessly at those cats. Some people who came got excited seeing the cats. The poke their fingers between the cage, hurting the cats. The weather was extreme hot today and lots of people at the event adds to cats being tension. They were furious towards the people who wanted to touch them. Pitty them. Why cant human be gentle with animals? How would you feel if your uncomfortable, lotsa people poking your body, aint it super irritating? Poor meowy...

Sometime at 11am

D: "Ma, can we have lunch together today? Im starving!!!"
Mom: Alright. Call you when im done with the meeting.
D: "Ok."

later...

A: Hye, what are doing?
D: "Nothing. Watching tv. Im hungry..."(hoping for you to ask out for lunch)
A: Ouh, why didnt you eat yet?
D: "Knowing me, i hate eating all alone. Boring."
A: Ok, why dont you grab something on the way to class later?
(aihh,, gave up. you didnt get me wanting you to have lunch with me...)
D: "Ok, i'll do that." tipooo je

i was bit sad, but understood you're in KL and im in shah alam. was ok until...

130pm

Mom: D, where do you want to have your lunch?
D: "Humph, i hate to decide on where to go. Do u have any preference ma?"
Mom: D, just now during the meeting i ate some food they served and im kind of full.
Do you still want go for lunch?
(alaaaaaaa... sounded like mom was in her lazy mood to go out for lunch)
"Ma, you should call me earlier that you eaten already. I could have my own lunch earlier and not wait for you...!!??"
Mom: But i can still accompany you, but come and pick me up at the office.
D: "Ma, now only u inform me. I thought of meeting u straight. I've class at 2pm ma!!!
"Nevermind then" Hang up!

I was very hungry. Didnt had anything since yesterday except that sticky chewy ice cream. Thats why i was very moody! Nway, after finance class which was at 6pm, went for early dinner with the classmates. Had super nyummy Ramly's Special Chicken Burger with cheese! It never tasted so goood! But somehow, i think Ramly burger taste better than McD burgers. XD.

Came home, mom showed me the plastic bag. Its NANDOS!!! She said, she felt guilty and knowing me, i'll be sulking still. But she was wrong at that point. I had my Ramly burger. No more merajuk session. Im cool already coz i had nice meal. Yeay, thanks ma for the thought, Love you. Ouh not gonna eat the nandos chicken. Saving it for my sahur. Im a happy kid indeed! Spoit am i?

sticky chewy makes me high!

Another interesting day! Started off with all classes being canceled. :D, but did assignments and updating the notes. Ouh sounded so, nerd a bright student! hhehehehe

So finally meet the old friend, Marleena after being postponed for few times. It was short and nice! I had fun dear Eena! Infos bout her, a japan-malay(trully oriental, eh?), knew her since primary school and we used to be best friends during those times. Precisely sat side by side during primary 6. We were supposed to go to the same secondary school which was Sri KL, but thanks to Husni mom psychoing our moms not to let us enter that school as she said, her daughter (Husni's older sis) became naughty due to bad influence of the brats at that school. So yeah, then i didnt remember why we split and end up not entering the same secondary school. She went for Sri Aman, while i was stuck with the rest SRKRMians at SMKSSAAS. After that, then we found new friends and own cliques. We were not as close as we were before and never actually hangout together after that, until our ice cream session at swensens just now.

She's still the same Marleena ive known. Still very soft spoken, still loves ice cream and pretty as ever! But i think im taller than you now? Did our usual updates bout life. Ouh she brought Audy along, such a darl. Envy u for being such a lovely couple :D Happy for u tho. So yeah, i had to go early coz i promised Zaireen to attend combat session at 6ish. But, we're planning to meet again sometime next week, maybe?

I was super active during combat and jam session! Was it due to sticky chewy? Sugar rush? Was so semangat, i felt lighter when i did evasive side kick, high jump and during muay thai. After 2 hours of classes, get Djo to check on my weight. Hey, ived lost 3 kgs! No wonder i felt lighter... weeeee~

Ouh Miss Eena texted me, inviting me to hangout at her house anytime! Ouh sho shweet of you. Did u remember those times when hangout at your house with Emmy and Zain? We would go to the shop nearby, buy Haagen Daaz ice creams(ouh both of us loves ice cream still!), mags and chill at your house. Remember those crazy times we shouted at the Gas lorry as if we wanted to have the Gas, but actually shouted for GUESS(the brand)? It was fun doing crazy things like that and yeah suddenly my memories about our friendship refreshen. I suddenly remember we would also hangout at Zain house and how we actually walked from your house to his. Zain's house from yours was quite a distance, but it was just so much fun doing things together that distance wasnt a problem. Awwwww, i miss those times. Can we turn back time?? Or perhaps we could hangout more often like before yeah?? Thanks Audy for the treat, and im happy to meet of both you!

Will post pictures later, streamyx slow macam siput b*b*!!!!!

caramel coated!!

a great monday to start after a great weekend. why?? coz all my morning classes were canceled, leaving me with AIS presentation at 2pm which was ok!

joined adlina, tasha, damien, and laila after my presentation circulating flyers at my faculty on UITM-SPCA 'Shelter Me' program. i was being nice, didnt i? hehe mainly supporting ad, as she's the director for this project. ouh yeah ad, fuglies decided to come during lunch time for that SPCA program. yeay the fuglies will support u ad!!!

all of the fuglies except nana, meet me today at different place. all positive comments regarding my hair. yeayyy happy they love it too! yeah, finally no regrets of cutting the hair.

driving on the way home, met alia on the road. we decided to have tea at kedai kopi. later ella joined. yeay happiness. talk, talk n talk and more gossips were revealed. *sigh*

anyway, i looked at the spot where that 301206 thing happened at kedai kopi itself. i wish i could turn back time and wish all the things didnt happen. dear n*n*, i want u to know that what zeida and i did was to protect and stopping u to make more wrong things. our intention was pure. since we cant stop u, thought ur mom would. but, things doesnt always go as what we plan. i wish we would have tried again to stop u myself without getting ur mom involved, and things aint gonna be this messy. im am sorry. im putting it here, coz i dont know how to face u. however we try to explain, u'll sure wont forgive us. but deep down, i do miss u old friend and very sorry for the mess we'ved caused. if i were given a chance one day, i would explain to u what had actually happen. just right now, i hope u'll be happy with whatever your doing and not destroying ur own life...

ouh btw, to z**d*r*, stop bitching bout me in friendster. ur damn bloody coward not to go straight to me. acting so kiddish to post it in friendster. i know u didnt put my name there, but obviously i know ur talking bout me. i dun remember having any problem with u. so stop those whatever ur saying coz ur backing up n*n* without u knowing 100% ins and out of her ok? maybe to u, she seems like a angel or somebody u adore so much, but hey u dont have to blindly back her up ok? and stop saying i called adi to back up us during that incident. FYI, adi knew about the meeting, and he came himself without me asking him to. he was just worried that we might have massive fights in the public. im not a small girl, needing a man to handle girl stuff! im saying this coz its been too long of me keeping it to myself, to the extent i couldnt take it anymore. ur just too much! i dont regret at all not befriending a pathetic person like u!

i realized that i have much better friends, the fuglies, cindy and the sarawakians, coursemates, the bro n sis and others which have better friends qualities that those 2 sore losers. i dont felt lost at all. i am better off without you people though.

dear friends, if i never said this before, maybe this is the time. i love you people to bits. i do cherish every single moment and hope we'll be friends forever. you know who u are. lots of love, ♥♥♥!!!!

my happy ending

if its not too late, HAPPY 50th MERDEKA!!!!!!!

after all the hectic weeks, i finally had a blast during the merdeka weekend. first of all, sorry fuglies i didnt get to attend to get together. was too tired.

had fun with the dudes n dudettes at curve. had our dinner at the apartment. although lots of the reviews were negative, it was my 2nd visits. and so far, im satisfied with my orders, so does my friends. love the coolers! shedaps.
later zeara and her egypt friends joined us at laundry, so did adi's friends. had fun entertaining those high people at laundry, watching them playing with foam, and shouting for ARSENAL! coolness. the merdeka celebration was really fun. fireworks was da bomb!

saturday was ok, woke up late. had lunch and continue sleeping. didnt join to fuglies. but much later, went dinner with zeara's family, including adi, fariz and mahi. it was fun having seafood. got all excited with the hammer and the crab shell. thanks kak zaza for the fabulous foods! ouh yeah, since it was 31st, went to baskin robin to get handpacked ice creams. the crowd at 11pm was fantastic, really was!!. malaysians love discounts i guess. hehe, well worth the time queing and waiting for the ice cream to be pack home.

after few weeks been thinking of whether to cut my long hair or not, i finally decided to!!! its short, err shoulder length but aint able to tie it due to massive layers. im loving my short hair. i felt fresh and lighter! had brown highlights to make the layers nicer. ouh my long hair merdeka already! ehhehe


zeara, mahi and i droved our moms to putrajaya on saturday evening to see the international flower festival. it was soo beautiful. lotsa flowers from all over the world were on displayed. love th tulips nd super cute chrysanthemums. ouh i so love the smell of fresh flowers. orgasmic!! :p
later the night, the 3 of us and ika went to hangout at bb. we were acting like tourist, everytime! meaning taking pictures all the time! had fun with the girls. really do!


so yeah, i had fun. so back to normal sunday. zeara and mahi came for breakfast. sat in the garden. the wheather this morning was so nice, lots of wind, strong coffee aroma. chatting, laughing and had our nyummy mcd breakfast. ahhh what a perfect sunday morning. :p
did my assignments. went to meet daddy. he hinted something, but typical him, he'll make sure i behave in order to get that. ok, i will try not to have any big arguments with u. *sigh*

basically, i love the weekend! its was fun to have all the favorites ones with u on a big event. hope for more, but for now, concentrating on the next back to back assignments. hope you people had a great time too!

ciow lala~